Category Archives: Compassion

Homeless men take to yoga

From The Gazette (Montreal) Skeptical at first, residents of Nazareth House now wait eagerly for instructor Anne Marie Delaney.

When yoga instructor Anne Marie Delaney entered the basement of an old greystone in Shaughnessy Village a few weeks ago, her eager students were waiting patiently beside their mats.

But the small group of students are not your traditional yoga disciples. They are mostly elderly men who live at Nazareth House, a shelter and residence for men who have struggled with homelessness, addictions or mental illness.

Most Wednesdays, Delaney takes time out of her busy schedule to take the men through a 30-minute yoga class that she hopes will empower them physically and emotionally. With soothing music playing in the background, she uses breathing techniques, stretching and relaxation exercises to help them strengthen their mind, body and spirit.

“It (yoga) can be life changing if you can take it off your mat and into your life with you,” said Delaney, who teaches the class on a volunteer basis to men aged 52 to 77.

“It is an honour to guide them through a yoga class. They just drink it up. You see it when they are sitting there meditating.” Delaney said she doesn’t expect the yoga class to radically change their lives, but she hopes it gives them tools to help manage their stress and “find their inner strength.”

John, who has been at Nazareth House for about a year, said he didn’t realize how much of a workout yoga is. “It stretches out my muscles and relaxes you.” he said. “I thought yoga was just for women, but it is good for men too.”

Robert Cuttle had attended yoga classes at his church before he fell on hard times and said it has been great to get back at it.

“I feel very relaxed after the class and my body is very content.” He also said he and the other men are grateful that Delaney makes time for them each week. “She is a special person,” he said.

Doris Mercier, the house manager at Nazareth House, said she knew she would have to pull a few tricks out of her hat to persuade the men to participate in a yoga class.

“I told them we were starting a yoga class; that a lady was coming who was a volunteer and that we gotta be there,” Mercier recalled.

Some of the men balked at the idea, saying yoga was for “women or something religious.”

Mercier ignored their protests and gently ushered the men into a room in the basement where the class was being held. For the first few classes, Mercier participated until the men felt comfortable taking the class without her.

“They were nervous at first; it is hard to get them to change or do something new,” she said.

Within a few months, some of the men began turning up for the class on their own. During a class just before Christmas, Mercier watched on proudly as Delaney took the men through a series of breathing exercises and stretches. “They really like her and they trust her,” Mercier said. Sheila Woodhouse, the director of Nazareth House, took up yoga last January and became a huge advocate. After noticing that yoga increased her flexibility, improved her sleep and helped reduce stress, she wondered whether it would help the men of Nazareth House.

After doing some research on the Internet, Woodhouse discovered that organizations around North America have been offering yoga to homeless populations and other people with mental illness for several years. “It helps them with their focus, concentration, breathing and relaxing,” she said.

Woodhouse said she hoped the yoga class would give the men “a little more identification with their bodies.”

“It is working out well,” she said of the small class. “The fact that they are there every week speaks volumes. That they would sit together in a quiet room with music and learn to control their breathing. It is a major step.”

Woodhouse has been was so impressed with Delaney’s rapport with the men that she has hired her to give the men a chair message following the yoga class.

“Men like this, who have lived on the street and don’t have family, haven’t been touched for years,” she said.

Can yoga and meditation help bring peace to Afghans? Amandine Roche means to find out.

From Reuters

As the Afghan government’s Western backers pour in cash, and tens of thousands of foreign soldiers patrol the country, a French human rights activist is trying a new way to break the cycle of violence in Afghanistan: yoga and meditation.

“In thirty years of war, we’ve tried everything and nothing has worked,” said Amandine Roche, who believes it is better to try to rid the mind of vengeful thoughts than to disarm a fighter at gunpoint.

Her organization, the Amanuddin Foundation, aims to promote nonviolence by teaching techniques of calm.

Volunteering since February as she searches for funds, she has given classes at which she demonstrates yoga and meditation to men, women, children, police officers, soldiers and former Taliban insurgents.

“It’s a new solution to an old problem. War starts in the minds of men, so peace starts in the minds of men. You cannot bring peace with the means of war, it’s as simple of that.”

The most recent conflict, which started with the U.S.-led overthrow of the Taliban government in 2001, has killed thousands of soldiers and civilians, and cost tens of billions of dollars. According to United Nations figures, 2011 is the most violent year since the war began: all signs, Roche argues, that the Western military and diplomatic effort isn’t working.

“My project might look crazy, but what is more crazy?”

Key to her work is the idea that peace cannot be imposed from outside, but must come from within an individual, she said.

“I’ve become firmly convinced that nonviolence is not the best way for Afghanistan, it’s the only way.”

The young Afghans who have tried yoga and meditation have been receptive.

“When I do yoga exercise I forget all of my pains and I feel comfortable,” said Masoda, a 12 year old schoolgirl at one of Roche’s classes for children in the capital Kabul.

INNER SHOWER

It might be quite a leap from working with children to bringing that same peace of mind to the gunmen of Afghanistan, but Roche, who was detained by the Taliban in 2001, says they are human too.

“My vision is to teach meditation to all the insurgents, to organize vocational training for them to become mediation teachers, so … they can go back to society, they have a job, they can reintegrate, and they will become peaceful.”

“Meditation is like an inner shower,” she said. “You feel dirty when you don’t take a shower for one week, you feel the same with your mind when you don’t meditate. It helps you to purify your mind, be rid of all the negativity, frustration.”

On Monday, the German city of Bonn is hosting a major international conference about the future of Afghanistan, at which the West will signal its long-term support for the country.

But evidence of the damage done by the cycle of attack and revenge is everywhere in Afghanistan. This week, in reaction to a NATO raid along the Afghan-Pakistan border that killed 24 of its soldiers, Pakistan pulled out of a major international conference on the future of the country.

“You look at the story of Afghanistan — from the British to the Russians to the Mujahideen, the Taliban, now democracy — it’s always revenge for the past war,” Roche said. “It’s never ended. If once, one day someone says ‘I stop, and you stop, and let’s stop together’ … let’s see.”

Still, Roche, who has worked on peace-building projects in Asia, Africa and South America, knows there are no easy fixes for the troubles of Afghanistan.

“I’m not a prophet, I don’t want to convert people. It’s not even a solution, it’s a tool. I don’t pretend I’m going to save Afghanistan.”

For This Yogi, Afghan Peace Plan Needs More Downward Dog

By DION NISSENBAUM from Wall Street Journal

KABUL—Retired male supermodel Cameron Alborzian sat down with Maj. Gen. Phil Jones at the U.S.-led coalition headquarters in Kabul this past summer to discuss a novel way to persuade Afghan insurgents to lay down arms.

Cameron Alborzian led a group of officials in meditation at Afghanistan’s Pul-e-Charkhi prison near Kabul in June.

Best known in his youth as Madonna’s smoldering music-video love interest, Mr. Alborzian presented a bold plan to the British general who oversaw the coalition’s effort to lure Taliban fighters from the battlefield: Afghan militants should join Western troops in meditation and yoga, embracing a new spirit of brotherly unity.

“The achievement would be: American soldiers meditate, Taliban meditate and, in jails, they meditate together,” Mr. Alborzian said. “One is on one side of the bar, the other is on the other side of the bar. You are both in jail—and you can find the peace in it together.”

The former model’s message of peace may seem kooky. But it has been persuasive enough to get meetings for Mr. Alborzian and his project’s Kabul-based representative with senior coalition officers, Afghan ministers and even a onetime insurgent leader.

The project also won a sympathetic hearing from Vice Adm. Robert Harward, a U.S. Navy SEAL and yoga practitioner who until recently oversaw American detention facilities in Afghanistan, and currently serves as deputy commander of the U.S. Central Command.
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Cameron Alborzian

And it has opened doors at Afghan prisons, where the two have taught guards at detention centers to do basic, nonreligious Ayurvedic yoga poses. The pair say they have secretly taught a former Taliban commander how to meditate and soothe his militant mind.

Some analysts say the yoga and meditation approach to ending a decade of war in Afghanistan may be as good as any. “It sounds a bit crazy…but who can’t be supportive of someone that wants to teach the principles of nonviolence?” said Norine MacDonald, working in Afghanistan as president of the International Council on Security and Development, a nonprofit research group.

The quixotic quest for Afghan peace represents the most improbable venture yet for Mr. Alborzian, a 44-year-old Iranian-born yoga devotee.

Mr. Alborzian first gained international attention in the 1980s as a model for Guess Jeans, Versace, Chanel, Levi’s, Vogue and GQ. He became a sensation when Madonna singled him out to appear bare-chested in the 1989 music video for her song “Express Yourself.”

As his modeling career hit its peak, he dropped out, studied yoga in India, and then reinvented himself as Yogi Cameron, an enlightened guide who would come to your home and serve as a live-in guru reportedly for up to $30,000 per week.

Mr. Alborzian served as a personal guru for daytime talk-show host Ellen DeGeneres and wrote a self-help book, “The Guru in You.”

But it was a chance encounter with Amandine Roche at a May conference attended by the Dalai Lama in Newark, N.J., that led Mr. Alborzian to Afghanistan.

Ms. Roche, a French aid worker who was briefly detained by the Taliban after 9/11, had become disillusioned with development work in Afghanistan and was looking for new solutions. At the conference, she persuaded Mr. Alborzian to become part of her Sola Yoga Project, and they distilled their vision for Afghanistan into a catchy phrase: “Peace and Reconciliation Through the Lotus Position.”

The pair crisscrossed Afghanistan in the summer, looking for converts to their cause.

On one stop at the central jail of Bamiyan province, Mr. Alborzian led some prison guards through yoga poses. Most were perplexed by the performance, says prison commander Col. Ghulam Ali Batur—who appeared in a promotional video for the project shouting “Yes, Yoga!” into the camera.

“It was totally a show,” he said.

Even so, Mr. Batur said the project could have some value: “Meditation can be effective for the prison staff if it is done right.”

At their July meeting with Maj. Gen. Jones, Mr. Alborzian and Ms. Roche also suggested that the coalition military offer yoga classes and meditation sessions to war-weary Taliban coming off the battlefield and looking for ways to return to normal lives. Maj. Gen. Jones has left Afghanistan, and the British Ministry of Defence didn’t respond to a request to make him available for comment.

“The general mainly wanted to know how quickly we thought we could train new teachers and how many per year,” Mr. Alborzian said of the meeting. “We explained that meditation needs to be experienced rather than discussed as this is not intellectual therapy, but inner spiritual work.”

Australian Army Capt. Christopher Hawkins, spokesman for the reintegration program then headed by Maj. Gen. Jones, said the peace-through-yoga proposal has failed to get traction.

“It was good that they came out and presented their ideas,” Capt. Hawkins said. “But no action was taken.”

Still, Ms. Roche was able to promote the proposal at several encounters with Vice Adm. Harward, who until recently headed Task Force 435, a coalition unit that oversees detention facilities housing Afghan insurgents, including the major center at Bagram.

The vice admiral was sympathetic, Ms. Roche says, and told her that he had mentioned the peace-through-yoga idea to Gen. David Petraeus, then commander of coalition forces in Afghanistan.

Vice Adm. Harward “did think it might be a constructive program,” confirmed U.S. Army Maj. T.G. Taylor, a spokesman for the U.S. Central Command where the admiral serves. “He is open to evaluating nontraditional ideas.”

Vice Adm. Harward’s successor at Task Force 435, however, hasn’t embraced the plan.

“This yoga discussion is not moving forward,” said the Task Force’s spokesman, U.S. Navy Capt. Kevin Aandahl.

The challenges facing the initiative were evident one recent afternoon in Kabul, as Ms. Roche sought to teach meditation to 40 restless Afghan teenage boys at a French-run high school.

Many of the boys couldn’t sit still as Ms. Roche played a Tibetan singing bowl and instructed the students to keep their eyes closed for several minutes.

One of the kids warned his classmates that Ms. Roche was trying to introduce alien Hindu rites, undermining Afghanistan’s Islamic faith.

“We have seen Indians in movies,” he said during the 45-minute workshop. “They do the same thing when they worship in front of their idols.”

A student named Samiullah was one of several boys whom Ms. Roche asked to leave the meditation circle. “This is useless for us,” he said before taking leave to pray with friends on nearby rugs set out by the school. “There are several other things for us to do that give us peace and quiet, like when we pray and recite the Holy Quran on a daily basis.”
—Ziaulhaq Sultani contributed to this article.

Women in Karachi jail do yoga for peace

From Deccan Herald:

Islamabad, May 22, (PTI):

A young Pakistani woman is trying to bring peace and tranquillity into the lives of women prisoners in the southern port city of Karachi by teaching them yoga.

Aisha Chapra, who has a degree in social work, decided to teach yoga to women prisoners on her return to Pakistan from Canada two years ago. Chapra didn’t have difficulty convincing authorities. “I wrote an email to the authorities and I was allowed to volunteer,” Chapra told PTI.

Over the past two years, she has taught 30 to 40 prisoners in the age group of 20 to 40. She has taught some prisoners’ children too. It is optional for the prisoners to join her class. “These days I have six students in my class,” said Chapra, who teaches the women behind bars for free. But their “warmth and genuine happiness recharges her battery”.

Ironically, Chapra discovered yoga as she was trying to tide over a bad patch. She was, as she puts it, depressed, disoriented and directionless and it was yoga that gave her peace. Her first class in prison wasn’t easy but her experience as a social worker helped her pull through.

She had scores of women and children watching her, some ridiculing her and few participating. However, as the days passed, she became friends with the prisoners by listening to their stories and even massaging their sore muscles.
“Soon I was their friend, listening to their woes and counseling them,” she said.
Chapra’s stint at the jail has been a great lesson in life. “I get as much from them as I give them. I admire them for being strong and having faith, despite their circumstances.”

For Chapra, the connection with these women is special. “It is this desire to access freedom from within, to liberate in a way that inspires, moves and lifts me outside of myself. I know it is their strength, their incredible compassion that I feel at the end of the class.”

“But it is always the moment after we get out of ‘shavasana’ and we all sit with our hands in prayer as we close the class, that I feel that connection – that connection to them and to God, to the earth, wind, water and sky. It is as if in that one moment we are all the same, yet many bodies breathing and thinking,” she wrote on her blog. Chapra’s “prize pupil” was a Malaysian, who has since returned to her country.

“One day as she smoked a cigarette, I invited her to join…She would do yoga everyday religiously and motivate other foreigners too…she has been released (from jail) and has returned to Malaysia, and we’re still in touch. I know she’ll be doing yoga for the rest of her life. I’ve even encouraged her to train to become a yoga instructor.”

Apart from prisoners, Chapra teaches yoga at a Karachi cafe-cum-gallery. The funds generated by these classes help her buy basic essentials like yoga mats for the prisoners.

The going is not always easy for Chapra. As she posted on her blog once, “and I had brought new mats today for women who had said that they would join last week. But based on the last few weeks I did not expect much, in fact I thought that the mats would go to waste.” That day, 10 women turned up for the class and that kept Chapra going.

Yoga Made Me a Better CEO

From Forbes Magazine:

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

I never imagined I’d be writing an article about how yoga makes me a more effective CEO. I don’t even know if I’m more of an authority as a CEO or as a yoga student. I do help run a successful organization, and I drive to and from work with a yoga mat and towel in my car (though it’s not the “green” vehicle you might expect of a yoga student). And I now wear fewer ties and more bracelets when conducting meetings than I would have ever thought (not as midlife crisis or new age attire, but just for fun and self-expression). For kicks I have started off meetings asking employees to take a deep breath and to “live in the moment.” But I promise I am not some counterculture contortionist opposed to standard business practice. Quite the contrary. I love business. I am passionate about growing companies. Still, I can share that since I started practicing more than two years ago, yoga has profoundly influenced my life in every aspect. It has redefined my sense of self. I have changed as a husband, father, friend and leader.

I proudly serve as the CEO of Blue Chip Marketing Worldwide. Even before I started practicing yoga Blue Chip made a clearly articulated pledge to all of our stakeholders. We call it “The Promise of Uniting.” It embodies a philosophy that none of us alone is as good as all of us together. It recognizes that a culture that unites the best of heart and mind will achieve remarkable results. Little did I know that many consider the definition of yoga to come from the Sanskrit root “yuj,” meaning to unite, or the practice of uniting body, mind and spirit. At Blue Chip we have always communicated that we have a social contract. We expect all of our talented professionals to deliver at the highest intellectual level (mind), and in turn we offer a nurturing environment (body) that respects them as human beings and professionals (spirit). We were yoga, and we didn’t even know it. The result has been nothing short of remarkable. Like a yoga studio, we have built an organizational culture that encourages employees to contribute and astound without fear of judgment or failure. Ultimately yoga has encouraged me to build a corporate environment that is less constricting and more community.

On a personal level yoga has been instructive in helping me redefine my expectations for achievement. Perhaps the most salient lesson I’ve learned is that there are no scorecards to define success. In the yoga studio there are no winners or losers. No umpires. No victory measured against the loss of another. In yoga success emanates from within and is defined by self-mastery.

As a CEO I have learned the same goes for effective leadership. We all have quantifiable scorecards in business. We look at our numbers every day. Revenue, stock prices and market share all provide indicators of the success of our organizations. But as CEOs, we have other attributes that gauge our success as leaders, including establishing vision, creating an affirmative corporate culture, demonstrating emotional intelligence, displaying the courage of our convictions, assessing risk and offering buoyancy of spirit.

So how does yoga bring success for a CEO?

Most yoga classes start with a remark from the teacher and a reminder to set an intention for the day’s practice. That might seem a little thing, but it is actually quite constructive. Every day, no matter whether at the office, the studio or the exchange, we must be thoughtful about our mission and disciplined in our approach to fulfilling it. My intention at yoga on any particular day might be to be conscious that each action must originate from a strong abdominal core, or to be cognizant that my breathing needs to align with my practice. My teacher always says that my practice “should never be a blur.” That is also true for the daily activity of a CEO. We can only realize our vision if we pay attention to our intentions.

I always point out to my colleagues that an office is a strange social experiment. We can’t usually select our coworkers. They might not fit the profile of someone we might have chosen as a friend. Yet we spend more time with them than with our families and other cherished relations. How can we make this work so we feel fulfilled at the end of each day? I often observe the same dynamic with the collected students at a yoga studio. Some are policemen, others housewives, and there is sometimes even the occasional CEO. Usually studios are quiet, with not a lot of conversation, yet there is a shared sense of purpose, like an affirmative corporate culture. The environment is an extremely optimistic one. There is clarity in leadership and purpose. The leader-teacher inspires and demonstrates but never admonishes. And the students are all there to celebrate individual and collective accomplishment. Everyone goes through the same sequences together, uniting without ambiguity. At the end of a class the shared accomplishment is completely positive. It is analogous to creating a corporate thematic goal and elevating the culture by supporting the goal at all levels of the organization–from the executive suite to the newest employees–for total alignment. The promise of uniting is very empowering.

As the class continues, the teacher often repeats, “Stay on your mat.” This implies working without distraction. It requires self-discipline and focus. We are surrounded by other sweaty, heavy-breathing and sometimes falling students. Yet we cannot lose our drishti, our gazing point, because yoga, like business, will render us unstable if we are distracted. As CEOs our distractions can carry much larger implications. If we fall, there is a high probability that others around us will also feel insecure. This understanding, this emotional intelligence, is the same in business and in yoga: It is a demand that we always be present.


My favorite form of yoga is the kind called vinyasa. When we practice we speak of “going through your vinyasa,” which means doing a series of sequences incorporating breath and body alignment with varying degrees of strength and flexibility. The idea that we are going to be unconventional and challenge ourselves to try things never before imagined requires perseverance, the courage of our convictions. The notion that I will now do handstands and then drop back to plank push-ups is inconceivable. It was scary at first. But like any decent CEO, I realize that to succeed we must test limits. We must stand for evolution and constant improvement.

We cannot be renegades. Yet there are times when we need to pause and reconsider, to assess risk. We need to prepare backup plans to reduce risk in the event of any unforeseen obstacles. In yoga my teacher calls this “honoring yourself,” which simply means listening to our bodies. If our hamstrings are tight, we assess the condition, follow the backup plan by bending our knees to alleviate the chance of injury and allow ourselves to continue to practice with pragmatism and eyes wide open.

Finally, and maybe most important, yoga helps make me a more effective CEO by reorienting my outlook on life–my buoyancy of spirit. I spend 90 minutes in a studio feeling like a 10-year-old boy. How could I not have fun? I am doing the real work of building muscles and increasing my agility, but with poses with Sanskrit names like Surya Namaskar or equally fun English names like Warrior. I begin in tadasana, or mountain pose, as I set my intention, and I end up in savasana, or corpse pose, allowing my mind and body to clear out from a period of extreme labor.

And the amazing thing is that yoga ultimately delivers as advertised. Unlike any other activity in which I have participated, I never walk out of a class feeling anything less than great, and always a little more than curious about my practice, my business, my family and my life. Yoga allows me to carry both equanimity and enthusiasm through my days. Ultimately it has allowed me to be a more effective CEO by making me a happier, healthier and more mindful human being. And though I promise you will never find me in lotus pose chanting “Om” on my conference room table, I am an eminently more grateful CEO than I was before I started practicing yoga.

Stanton Kawer is the chief executive officer and chairman of Blue Chip Marketing Worldwide.

 

Go Easy on Yourself, a New Wave of Research Urges

Stuart Bradford

From the Tara Parker-Pope at the New York Times:

Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.

The research suggests that giving ourselves a break and accepting our imperfections may be the first step toward better health. People who score high on tests of self-compassion have less depression and anxiety, and tend to be happier and more optimistic. Preliminary data suggest that self-compassion can even influence how much we eat and may help some people lose weight.

This idea does seem at odds with the advice dispensed by many doctors and self-help books, which suggest that willpower and self-discipline are the keys to better health. But Kristin Neff, a pioneer in the field, says self-compassion is not to be confused with self-indulgence or lower standards.

“I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent,” said Dr. Neff, an associate professor of human development at the University of Texas at Austin. “They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.”

Imagine your reaction to a child struggling in school or eating too much junk food. Many parents would offer support, like tutoring or making an effort to find healthful foods the child will enjoy. But when adults find themselves in a similar situation — struggling at work, or overeating and gaining weight — many fall into a cycle of self-criticism and negativity. That leaves them feeling even less motivated to change.

“Self-compassion is really conducive to motivation,” Dr. Neff said. “The reason you don’t let your children eat five big tubs of ice cream is because you care about them. With self-compassion, if you care about yourself, you do what’s healthy for you rather than what’s harmful to you.”

Dr. Neff, whose book, “Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind,” is being published next month by William Morrow, has developed a self-compassion scale: 26 statements meant to determine how often people are kind to themselves, and whether they recognize that ups and downs are simply part of life.

A positive response to the statement “I’m disapproving and judgmental about my own flaws and inadequacies,” for example, suggests lack of self-compassion. “When I feel inadequate in some way, I try to remind myself that feelings of inadequacy are shared by most people” suggests the opposite.

For those low on the scale, Dr. Neff suggests a set of exercises — like writing yourself a letter of support, just as you might to a friend you are concerned about. Listing your best and worst traits, reminding yourself that nobody is perfect and thinking of steps you might take to help you feel better about yourself are also recommended.

Other exercises include meditation and “compassion breaks,” which involve repeating mantras like “I’m going to be kind to myself in this moment.”

If this all sounds a bit too warm and fuzzy, like the Al Franken character Stuart Smalley (“I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”), there is science to back it up. A 2007 study by researchers at Wake Forest University suggested that even a minor self-compassion intervention could influence eating habits. As part of the study, 84 female college students were asked to take part in what they thought was a food-tasting experiment. At the beginning of the study, the women were asked to eat doughnuts.

One group, however, was given a lesson in self-compassion with the food. “I hope you won’t be hard on yourself,” the instructor said. “Everyone in the study eats this stuff, so I don’t think there’s any reason to feel real bad about it.”

Later the women were asked to taste-test candies from large bowls. The researchers found that women who were regular dieters or had guilt feelings about forbidden foods ate less after hearing the instructor’s reassurance. Those not given that message ate more.

The hypothesis is that the women who felt bad about the doughnuts ended up engaging in “emotional” eating. The women who gave themselves permission to enjoy the sweets didn’t overeat.

“Self-compassion is the missing ingredient in every diet and weight-loss plan,” said Jean Fain, a psychotherapist and teaching associate at Harvard Medical School who wrote the new book “The Self-Compassion Diet” (Sounds True publishing). “Most plans revolve around self-discipline, deprivation and neglect.”

Dr. Neff says that the field is still new and that she is just starting a controlled study to determine whether teaching self-compassion actually leads to lower stress, depression and anxiety and more happiness and life satisfaction.

“The problem is that it’s hard to unlearn habits of a lifetime,” she said. “People have to actively and consciously develop the habit of self-compassion.”